My mom made a new friend February 25, 2007

Meet my mom’s new friend.  There was a pair of shoes on my parents’s deck and a raccoon came to play.  He was holding a shoe in his hands, just chillaxin on the deck.  My mom saw him through the window and waved at him to shoo.  Then she opened the door to yell at him.  She’s waving her arms and yelling at him (in Korean).  The raccoon took this as an invitation to come play with her.  He trotted across the deck towards her.  My mom freaked out, screamed, slammed the door shut, and fell down in one swift motion.  She hit her head and knocked over a bar stool.  It doesn’t sound like it, but it was quite an amusing story when she told me this.  At first she didn’t know the name for raccoon in English and tried to describe it to me. 

Mom:  They make fur coats out of this animal. 

Me:  Mink? 

Mom:  No, not mink.  You know.  That animal.  It has stripes.

Me:  Huh?  A raccoon?

Mom:  (Korean) Yes, yes!  A raccoon.

I’ve never seen a fur coat made of raccoon.  That would be gross and ugly.  Fur coats in general are gross.  But one made of raccoon?

That wasn’t my question, Sherry February 23, 2007

Neeraj, Sherry, and I want to go to the Switchfoot concerts in April.  I asked them what they wanted to do about tickets.  Sherry’s answer?  Yes.  That wasn’t my question.

This made me laugh February 22, 2007

I got this in my email from Borders Rewards.  I don’t know why, but I think this is so funny. 

Are you shitting me? February 22, 2007

I read this on the TV Makes You Stupid blog.  There’s going to be a spinoff show from Grey’s Anatomy focused around Addison Montgomery.  Seriously?  Don’t get me wrong.  I like Grey’s Anatomy but why?  Why are they making a spinoff show for Addison?

http://tvmakesyoustupid.com/2007/02/21/abc-to-explore-addison-montgomerys-anatomy/

Another silly old man story February 21, 2007

I went home to have dinner with my family because it was my dad’s birthday.  We went to On the Border again (because they give free chips and salsa).  My dad got a frozen margarita.  I guess he didn’t understand that a frozen margarita is basically an alcoholic slushy.  He drank it too fast and got a brain freeze.  “It’s too cold!  Too cold!”  Lol.

Later I asked him what else he was going to do for his birthday.  He said he wanted a puppy.  This is what I imagine when I hear puppy:

So I asked my dad what kind of puppy he wanted.  He said a great dane. 

That is not a puppy, Dad.  Great danes are huge.  So I told him that. 

Me:  A great dane?  That’s not a puppy!

Dad:  Great dane!  Like Scooby-doo!  Ooooooooooo!

He freaking howled like a wolf.  Silly old man.

Sherry’s crazy messages February 19, 2007

Sherry left me a message on my apartment phone.  Then 3 minutes later she called back to leave another message.  She’s freaking crazy.  Not me.

Apparently, the Youtube clip isn’t loading so here’s the same thing on Google video:

I love Craig Ferguson February 18, 2007

As I mentioned earlier, I hate Valentine’s Day.  Perhaps I, too, am a Scrooge of Valentine’s Day, like Craig Ferguson.

Okay, lady February 18, 2007

I went to Roasterie to study after the library closed.  Things were looking good: it wasn’t too loud, my caramel latte was perfectly flavored, and I was getting lots of work done.  There was one little snag in my little paradise I call Roasterie.  This whacked out lady sitting at the table next to mine.  Roasterie has free wifi so people bring their laptops while they enjoy the blissful coffee at Roasterie.  This lady was like trying to run a business at Roasterie. 

 

I was sitting at the round table in the middle.  This lady was first sitting at the small round table labeled 1.  She was talking very loudly on her cell phone about invoices or something or other.  I tried to block her out.  Then she moved to the table against the wall labeled 2.  She was sorting through some papers and whatnot.  Then she picked up her laptop and moved to the tall table pushed up against the windows labeled 3.  I’m sorry.  I did not realize that I had invaded into your own personal office at the Roasterie.  My bad.

Back off, old lady February 15, 2007

I’m coming home from class and walking to my building from my parking spot.  I’m sick right now so I’m hacking up a lung in the cold weather.  There’s an old lady walking in front of me and she turns around to say something but I didn’t hear what she said due to my hacking and gagging.  Well, she’s waiting for me when I walk inside my building.  Okay, she wasn’t waiting for me like a stalker.  She just happened to be waiting for the elevator to come when I walked in.  Anyway, I’m still hacking and coughing, but I politely smile at her.  She looks at me and attempts to make small talk. 

Old Lady: “Sounds like you have some gunk there.” 

     Huh?  Thankfully the elevator arrives.  She gets in first.

Me:  “Five, please.  Thank you.”

Old Lady:  “You’re welcome.  They say it takes weeks to get over it.”

Me:  “Uhh…yeah.  I’m trying to get well as soon as possible.”

Old Lady:  “Now, my mother would say it’s because you don’t have a hat on.” 

     Excuse me?  You’re like freaking 100 years old.  How old’s your mother?

Me:  “Oh, yeah.  Well, I have a hood.”

     Thankfully we stop at her floor and she’s getting out.

Old Lady:  “Yeah, on the back of your neck.” 

And she gets out and walks away.  I wanted to freakin shove her out the elevator, cough all over her, get her sick, close the elevator doors, and rejoice in my victory on my way up to my floor.  Back off, lady.  You didn’t have a hat on either.  I hope you get sick too.

Corn Dog February 15, 2007

This made me happy. 

A prairie dog/corn dog